If, at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Sex is just like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

:-)