Dear
Tech Support:
I am writing this letter as a last resort.
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend
7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed
that the new program began unexpected child
processing that took up a lot of space and valuable
resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product
brochure!
In addition, Wife 1.0 installs
itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization,
where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as
PokerNight 10.3, BoysNight
2.5 and
Saturday Football 5.0 no longer
run, crashing the system whenever selected.
I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in
the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications.
I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but un-install
does not work on this program. Can you help me, pleeeeeeeease?!!!
Thanks,
Joe
Dear Joe:
This is a very common problem that men
complain about, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception.
Many people upgrade from
Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0
with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES
& ENTERTAINMENT" program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING
SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.
It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and
still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files
within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife
1.0, so, nothing is gained.
It is impossible
to un-install, delete, or purge the program files from the system
once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because
Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install
Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0
but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your
manual under "Warnings -Alimony/Child Support."
I recommend you keep Wife 1.0
and just deal with the situation.
Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you
read the entire section regarding General
Partnership Faults (GPFs).
You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that
might occur, regardless of their cause.
The best course of action will be to
enter the command "C:\APOLOGIZE."
In any case, avoid excessive use of
the "ESC" key, because, ultimately, you will have
to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will
return to normal.
The system will run smoothly as long
as you take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great
program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software
to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers
2.1 and
Chocolates 5.0.
Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary
with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application
for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to
the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support
